Greg Bishop, Author of Hit the Ground Crawling Shares “10 Survival Tips for New Fathers”
While expecting moms instinctively network and reach out to experienced mothers and are offered many educational resources, new dads are generally left to figure it all out on their own.
To better prepare you for what lies ahead, Bishop offers 10 survival tips to help you “hit the ground crawling”:
Stock Up. Stock up on baby related supplies such as diapers, wipes, ointment, receiving blankets and baby clothes. Stock the freezer with quick and easy meals while you’re at it and you’ll be a true hero. Doing so will help to eliminate a lot of additional stress – especially at 2 a.m. when your crying baby needs a diaper change.
Set up a Support System. Make sure you have a support network in place. Arrange for help from professionals, family and friends and keep a chart on the wall with phone numbers and call them when you need them. Your support network may include: pediatrician; obstetrician; nurse’s help line; lactation consultant; hospital emergency number; a friendly neighbor; good friends; relatives who can help out; restaurants and grocery delivery service.
Learn the Basics. Don’t know the basics of baby care? Ask someone who does know to teach you. If you haven’t had the opportunity to attend a fatherhood program, ask the nurse while you’re at the hospital or your baby’s pediatrician; your partner; your best friend who is a dad or your own mother to show you the ropes and get the hands-on training you need to diaper, burp, and swaddle and bathe your baby.
Work out a Routine. When baby comes home, you and mom will need to work out your own routine for taking care of the baby, including plenty of feeding, burping, changing, cuddling and rocking. To go with the flow, you’ve got to develop the flow first.
Set the Ground Rules for Visitors. Everyone wants to see and hold the new baby. Although you’re proud to show your baby off, you do need to save your energy for the baby. Don’t be afraid to set visiting limits and lay the ground rules. If your mate becomes tired during a visit, tell visitors she needs some quiet time. Ask visitors to wash their hands before handling your baby. If visitors arrive with sick children, ask them to come back at another time. Don’t be afraid to let your answering machine pick up calls.
“Helping” with Baby. While you may be delighted that your parents and in-laws are there for you right from the start, you shouldn’t have to try to cope with taking care of their needs as well as the baby’s and your mate’s. Letting them hold the baby is fine, but they shouldn’t hold the baby while you or your mate cleans the house or cooks. Work out a policy for family regarding “help”. If your parents or in-laws come to stay, you and your partner should decide what you want them to do ahead of time and discuss it with them at the beginning of their visit.
Nap Time is Essential. Accept the fact that you won’t be getting a full night’s sleep for at least a few months. Fatigue can cause irritability, even disorientation. Grab a nap whenever you can, particularly when the baby is sleeping. Avoid relying on coffee to stay awake as it will keep you up when you have the opportunity to sleep.
Housework. A little housework goes a long way in terms of morale. If there simply isn’t time to clean it all, resolve not to stress about a little clutter. Make a list with mom of all the things that can be left undone for a while.
Support Mom. Mom, who is struggling to cope with a new baby, will get frustrated. Additionally, a drop in her estrogen and progesterone levels following delivery (between birth and six weeks after) provides a chemical trigger for the “baby blues”. Symptoms of baby blues may include mood swings, crying, feelings of anxiety, nervousness, irritability and/or insomnia. Your reassurance, love and support are essential. Encourage her to talk to you, her family or friends and to establish contact with other mothers. A change of scenery often helps, so let her have some free time at the mall or visiting with friends while you care for the baby.
Don’t Doubt. After a few weeks, you and mom will likely be exhausted and you may feel like you’ve hit the wall. Doubts may emerge about whether you are good parents. Know that it will pass.
“It may take some time, even years, to accept the full reality and magnitude of becoming a dad. Even so, becoming a father is mostly about learning to support and care for someone else. Your needs will soon become secondary and there is a good deal of sacrifice involved, but, ultimately, this personal commitment to your family will define who you are and give full meaning to your life,” explained Bishop.
About Hit the Ground Crawling
Hit the Ground Crawling, published by Dads Adventure, provides practical, hands on tips based on over 15 years of working with over 100,000 fathers. The 300 page book offers the wisdom of author Greg Bishop, the founder of Boot Camp for New Dads, an MBA from Stanford University, brother of 12 and father of four, along with the collective wisdom and real life advice of thousands of men who participated in Boot Camp for New Dads programs.
Boot Camp for New Dads
Celebrating their 17th year, Boot Camp for New Dads is nationally acclaimed as the “Best Practice” for preparing men to be fathers and has been named a U.S. Navy Model Program.
With more than 4.1 million births last year alone (National Center for Health Statistics), and approximately 1.5 million men becoming new dads every year, it’s more important than ever for fathers to realize that being a “good provider” is only part of the very central role they have in their children’s lives.